I guess I've reached that point in this full-time SAHM/teaching experience! If you remember from my previous post, I had talked about making changes for my daughter who needs more interaction with peers than I can provide (without having to pay some sort of tuition). I've had two interviews in the last couple of weeks for PT positions at child care centers. I wasn't too pleased with how I did in the first interview, whereas the second one was so easy and quick that the Program Supervisor wanted to hire me on the spot...but because I wasn't too pleased with them (after taking a tour) I declined the offer. So now I'm starting to consider full-time positions, which has led to the inevitable feeling of regret for leaving my job five weeks ago. In my search for a PT job, I've learned that most centers only offer a 50% discount (as opposed to my previous 75% discount), don't always accept employees' children or, if they do, don't offer a discount at all, or they just don't pay as much.
Last night I even proposed to Tim the idea of opening my own preschool or day care. I had been so shocked by the Center I had declined the job offer from that I thought, Well, instead of trying to put my kids in another Center, why not just open my own?
Wow, is she some sort of control freak, or something?? you must be wondering.
Why yes, yes I am. That, and I've already bought a ton of preschool teaching materials that I doubt other parents keep in their family rooms (hence the reason I've stopped mentioning the possibility of a co-op). That, and I've been working diligently, day and night, to observe how my kids learn, what kinds of activities they enjoy and which ones lose their interest, in what order we should have our lessons and activities based on how they respond (for instance, do their attention spans falter after starting with a Group Time activity versus having Singing Time and Story Time first?) and what works best for my almost-4-year-old versus my almost-2-year-old.
Now, the real question is: Am I crazy for wanting to open a day care or preschool from my own home?
Our "sweet" home has just become our classroom, and now each day is a new adventure for Aislin, Desmond and Mrs. Mommy Sweet!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
28/90
Today is the end of my 28th day out of my 90-day probationary period as a full-time Stay-at-home Mom and Home Toddler/Preschool Teacher.
It's been a good month--generally easy-going, busy, interesting, surprising, frightening, and sometimes stressful (but not as stressful as my previous job). I've had the opportunity to watch my kids closely, to observe their responses to new activities, to observe their adjustment to not being at the Center anymore. I've had the opportunity to learn about and from them every single day, and to try to learn from my mistakes on a daily basis.
At this point, Aislin now misses her friends (except Lola, who used to hit her) and her teacher at the Center, but says she still enjoys having Preschool at home with Desmond and me.
Des says a few more words now than before (although, admittedly, I can't tell if being at home has helped him with that or if he was learning words just fine at the Center and I just didn't know because I wasn't with him...and the few hours I spent with him after work weren't enough for him to say all that he had learned to say).
As for me, my biggest issues have been with Aislin. In the past month I've learned that she does better in a group of peers, and as long as they're at her developmental level, she's satisfied. It's been difficult for her to follow directions or show interest in our lesson plans because she doesn't have kids her age to follow or get excited with. So I've tried to make up for that by giving her more responsibility, like letting her help with Group Time; however, that hasn't improved her behavior during other times of the day.
I've tried being consistent, stern yet fair when disciplining my daughter. According to my husband, I may have been too fair. "You need to spank her!" had been his suggestion. But I've chosen to take the diplomatic route in disciplining our children, especially now that we've blended home and school; and the result has been...frightening. She has thrown fits like I've never seen from her--the kind that have her tremble with rage, and where she threatens to hit or kick me by repeatedly making the gestures.
When these fits occur, I can't help but lament over the girl she had been when she was at the Center. Although she had thrown fits at home, or even on the walk across the parking lot from her classroom to our car, she had generally displayed a lot of maturity that I had never seen from her before. She easily made friends outside of the Center because she knew how to socialize and behave appropriately, and the anxiety of being around new people had greatly diminished...before I removed her from the Center.
Can you hear my lamentation?
"What about that preschool co-op idea?" you ask. I had thought about it a lot, wracked my brains trying to think of kids who weren't already in a co-op or in daycare, and I tried to imagine teaching a co-op, even with just one other child, but I couldn't. I got too scared. The thought of being responsible for teaching someone else's child intimidates me.
"Well, what now?" you must be wondering. Well, today I had an interview for a PART-TIME position at a child care center near my house. My hope is to get an afternoon shift and not work more than 30 hours a week. My hope is to have the mornings off so that Aislin can still go to ballet on Mondays, we three can still go to the park when it's warm, and we can still have play dates.
My hope is that I won't have to give up my whole day with my children to give them something I can't provide at home.
It's been a good month--generally easy-going, busy, interesting, surprising, frightening, and sometimes stressful (but not as stressful as my previous job). I've had the opportunity to watch my kids closely, to observe their responses to new activities, to observe their adjustment to not being at the Center anymore. I've had the opportunity to learn about and from them every single day, and to try to learn from my mistakes on a daily basis.
At this point, Aislin now misses her friends (except Lola, who used to hit her) and her teacher at the Center, but says she still enjoys having Preschool at home with Desmond and me.
Des says a few more words now than before (although, admittedly, I can't tell if being at home has helped him with that or if he was learning words just fine at the Center and I just didn't know because I wasn't with him...and the few hours I spent with him after work weren't enough for him to say all that he had learned to say).
As for me, my biggest issues have been with Aislin. In the past month I've learned that she does better in a group of peers, and as long as they're at her developmental level, she's satisfied. It's been difficult for her to follow directions or show interest in our lesson plans because she doesn't have kids her age to follow or get excited with. So I've tried to make up for that by giving her more responsibility, like letting her help with Group Time; however, that hasn't improved her behavior during other times of the day.
I've tried being consistent, stern yet fair when disciplining my daughter. According to my husband, I may have been too fair. "You need to spank her!" had been his suggestion. But I've chosen to take the diplomatic route in disciplining our children, especially now that we've blended home and school; and the result has been...frightening. She has thrown fits like I've never seen from her--the kind that have her tremble with rage, and where she threatens to hit or kick me by repeatedly making the gestures.
When these fits occur, I can't help but lament over the girl she had been when she was at the Center. Although she had thrown fits at home, or even on the walk across the parking lot from her classroom to our car, she had generally displayed a lot of maturity that I had never seen from her before. She easily made friends outside of the Center because she knew how to socialize and behave appropriately, and the anxiety of being around new people had greatly diminished...before I removed her from the Center.
Can you hear my lamentation?
"What about that preschool co-op idea?" you ask. I had thought about it a lot, wracked my brains trying to think of kids who weren't already in a co-op or in daycare, and I tried to imagine teaching a co-op, even with just one other child, but I couldn't. I got too scared. The thought of being responsible for teaching someone else's child intimidates me.
"Well, what now?" you must be wondering. Well, today I had an interview for a PART-TIME position at a child care center near my house. My hope is to get an afternoon shift and not work more than 30 hours a week. My hope is to have the mornings off so that Aislin can still go to ballet on Mondays, we three can still go to the park when it's warm, and we can still have play dates.
My hope is that I won't have to give up my whole day with my children to give them something I can't provide at home.
Another Lesson Learned
This week I learned...that I don't always need to be the one holding and touching everything.
One of the things that I had gotten very excited about when I started buying supplies for our little home classroom (the corner of our family room), putting together a curriculum and planning our daily schedule was the thought of being the teacher: pointing to everything, decorating our walls, doing all the work with things that were very new (and colorful) in our house. When I realized that my daughter wanted to help with Group Time by putting the date on the calendar or switching out the weather markers, I imagined the two of us being the same age and saying, "No, it's MY turn!" or "But this is MY game!!" I guess we both wanted to play the teacher.
So I learned to humble my self...by placing a step ladder in front of the calendar and letting Aislin assist with teaching the date, season and weather...letting her distribute and collect our Group Time supplies...and letting her hold the books during Story Time and even read the simpler ones (infant/toddler books that teach about colors, shapes, etc) to us. Group time has since been smoother and more engaging for her, and less of a battle for the three of us.
It probably helps that I've also come to the realization that Group Time doesn't need to be a full 30 minutes, or even close to it. We can sing preschool songs and do a brief activity, all of which may only take 10 minutes, but it's enough. As long as they're fascinated, as long as they understand the concepts being taught...and as long as they have FUN, then it was successful.
The following Group Time activity was brief but super fun: we put some red paint in one corner of a zip lock bag and some yellow paint in the other, blue and red in another bag, and blue and yellow in the last...and I sealed them up and let the kids squish the paints together until the paints turned into orange, purple and green. They thought it was great and also beautiful, so we taped the bags up to our sliding door to admire in the daylight :)
One of the things that I had gotten very excited about when I started buying supplies for our little home classroom (the corner of our family room), putting together a curriculum and planning our daily schedule was the thought of being the teacher: pointing to everything, decorating our walls, doing all the work with things that were very new (and colorful) in our house. When I realized that my daughter wanted to help with Group Time by putting the date on the calendar or switching out the weather markers, I imagined the two of us being the same age and saying, "No, it's MY turn!" or "But this is MY game!!" I guess we both wanted to play the teacher.
So I learned to humble my self...by placing a step ladder in front of the calendar and letting Aislin assist with teaching the date, season and weather...letting her distribute and collect our Group Time supplies...and letting her hold the books during Story Time and even read the simpler ones (infant/toddler books that teach about colors, shapes, etc) to us. Group time has since been smoother and more engaging for her, and less of a battle for the three of us.
It probably helps that I've also come to the realization that Group Time doesn't need to be a full 30 minutes, or even close to it. We can sing preschool songs and do a brief activity, all of which may only take 10 minutes, but it's enough. As long as they're fascinated, as long as they understand the concepts being taught...and as long as they have FUN, then it was successful.
The following Group Time activity was brief but super fun: we put some red paint in one corner of a zip lock bag and some yellow paint in the other, blue and red in another bag, and blue and yellow in the last...and I sealed them up and let the kids squish the paints together until the paints turned into orange, purple and green. They thought it was great and also beautiful, so we taped the bags up to our sliding door to admire in the daylight :)
Another Group Time activity involved wide Popsicle sticks taped to paper plates, each with a facial expression drawn on them. The kids and I took turns putting the plates up to our faces and pretending to be either sad, angry or happy, and then giving the appropriate responses. When Aislin held up the sad face, I asked her what we should do when someone's sad. Her response was, "Make a funny face!" to which she fish-hooked both sides of her mouth and stuck out her tongue. I happily concurred, and also suggested giving that person a hug :)
Afterwards, we made our own happy faces for Art Time.
They enjoyed themselves :)
I hung/clipped them up to dry from our sliding door's curtain rod:
And on day two of this art project, they added colorful hair, wiggly eyes and smiley faces :)
Thus was the end of week 4!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
And...CUT!
Finally, the end of a rough week! This week I learned that Aislin's attention span is stellar when it comes to art projects, that my kids need a snack supply when they attend a library story time and that, no matter how well-prepared, accommodating or entertaining my Group Time activities and Story Time selections may be, Aislin still won't appreciate them because she doesn't have other kids her age to follow or get excited with. To rectify these issues, I've reorganized our daily schedule so that Art is earlier in the day; and as far as the latter issue...a co-op may be in the near future!
Although the week had its scrapes and bruises, here are the more delightful moments:
On Monday Aislin had her very first ballet class, and she loved it :)
(Here's a better picture of her ballet get-up!)
The kids played with sensory bins filled with macaroni and rice (which I still need to color). What I learned from this activity is that a) I need a bigger sheet to put under them and b) a sandbox would be best. Stay tuned for a post on our upcoming backyard sandbox!
We went to a park where we picked flowers, talked about their anatomy, and played on the swings!
We had a play date on Friday that involved a buffet of chopped fruit, the girls dressed as princesses and a boy dressed in a Winnie-the-Pooh costume, and a camp out under the stairs!
And lastly, a Saturday with Daddy at the lake :)
Although the week had its scrapes and bruises, here are the more delightful moments:
On Monday Aislin had her very first ballet class, and she loved it :)
And lastly, a Saturday with Daddy at the lake :)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
HA!
...says the Universe, upon reading about my optimism for today. Of course today can be worse than yesterday!
Let me begin by admitting...that it was mostly my fault. I treated today like a day-off and treated my responsibility as a stay-at-home mom/teacher like an opportunity to nap at 10:30 a.m.
I honestly believed that, although I went to bed at 1:30 a.m. this morning, I'd still be able to wake up at 7 to jump on the treadmill and start the day out right (since my kids don't usually wake up until 7:30 at the earliest). HA! My son woke up screeching just before 7, and when I went into his room to take care of him, I realized I had left his window open and that he had been rudely awakened by the crisp morning air.
Let me begin by admitting...that it was mostly my fault. I treated today like a day-off and treated my responsibility as a stay-at-home mom/teacher like an opportunity to nap at 10:30 a.m.
I honestly believed that, although I went to bed at 1:30 a.m. this morning, I'd still be able to wake up at 7 to jump on the treadmill and start the day out right (since my kids don't usually wake up until 7:30 at the earliest). HA! My son woke up screeching just before 7, and when I went into his room to take care of him, I realized I had left his window open and that he had been rudely awakened by the crisp morning air.
FAIL.
So I held him for a bit and laid him back in his crib, hoping he'd catch a few more minutes of sleep so that I could crawl back into bed. Didn't really happen that way--he screamed after me and then spent a few minutes talking to himself while I laid with my face buried in my pillow.
I eventually rolled out of bed to feed my children breakfast but barely did anything for the next hour. Instead, I sat on the couch with the kids and watched a terrible cartoon called Bratz Babies. Finally we had Group Time and Story Time, but as I read I kept feeling my eyes shut and my speech slur. So I decided it was best if I took a short nap before I did anything else, like drive. Well, the nap was a lot shorter than I realized (even though I had slept through the entire second showing of Bratz) and I felt even crankier and short-tempered when I woke up. The lack of a decent breakfast probably didn't help.
Long story short, I have not been a good mom today.
I will not be going to bed that late ever again, I will try harder to wake up early enough to work out in the mornings, and I will try to eat a better breakfast than just a waffle and a small cup of milk...even if it means having to pull a pan out of the cabinet to cook some eggs!
So, Universe, let's try this again... I'm optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day than today (and yesterday)!
Maddening Monday
It was one of those days...that could have been wonderful--the sun was out and it was warm enough that I found myself carrying three jackets under my arm on our way from the Recreation Center to our car; but alas, come noon you could have stuck a fork in me--I was done!
It felt like an off day for my kids and I... I might have been a little more irritable than usual, my daughter was crazier than usual and my son...my son...was just crazy. I guess these descriptions are all very vague, aren't they? Well, just to give you an example of each: I started out saying, "No," when my son turned the knob on the gas burner (while I was cooking, not on his own)...but ended up screaming it; my daughter constantly argued with me, raised her voice and, perhaps, was just too excited about her first ballet class to be still or follow directions; and my son...my son...wanted to be carried all the time, down the stairs in our own house and wherever we were in public. If I didn't, or if I sat down with him instead, he'd scream without shame and follow after me screaming all the while.
I had spent the greater part of the morning reminding my daughter to speak nicely, not argue, listen listen listen, follow directions, and be respectful. Once we had gotten to the Recreation Center and dropped her off at her ballet class, my son and I spent the next 45 minutes either in the lobby or waiting for her in the hallway, which was probably what had done me in that morning. This boy of mine, just two months shy of officially being in his "Terrible Two's", stomped, screamed, whined, pointed his finger at me while saying, "Nnnnnn-o!" and didn't calm down until an elderly Asian lady said to him, "Uh-oh, shhh. Be a good boy!" Only then did he seem to feel any remorse, or at least a shade of embarrassment.
I, on the other hand, felt ten shades of appalled.
When we got home, I fed the kids lunch and rushed them to bed for a nap. We all needed a nap. And when we got up a couple of hours later, I had to hurl myself out of bed so that we could do some Skill Building activities before I needed to cook dinner. What I really wanted to do was lay there and enjoy a nice spring evening...in bed, but I felt compelled to end the day on a productive note, so I lured myself up with the thought of checking off "Skill Building" from our schedule.
I'm determined to figure out how to communicate with my son. I'm determined to have a better day tomorrow.
And after having a talk with my daughter before she went to bed, pointing out her behavior today and asking how we can change it tomorrow, I think my kids and I may have a shot ;)
It felt like an off day for my kids and I... I might have been a little more irritable than usual, my daughter was crazier than usual and my son...my son...was just crazy. I guess these descriptions are all very vague, aren't they? Well, just to give you an example of each: I started out saying, "No," when my son turned the knob on the gas burner (while I was cooking, not on his own)...but ended up screaming it; my daughter constantly argued with me, raised her voice and, perhaps, was just too excited about her first ballet class to be still or follow directions; and my son...my son...wanted to be carried all the time, down the stairs in our own house and wherever we were in public. If I didn't, or if I sat down with him instead, he'd scream without shame and follow after me screaming all the while.
I had spent the greater part of the morning reminding my daughter to speak nicely, not argue, listen listen listen, follow directions, and be respectful. Once we had gotten to the Recreation Center and dropped her off at her ballet class, my son and I spent the next 45 minutes either in the lobby or waiting for her in the hallway, which was probably what had done me in that morning. This boy of mine, just two months shy of officially being in his "Terrible Two's", stomped, screamed, whined, pointed his finger at me while saying, "Nnnnnn-o!" and didn't calm down until an elderly Asian lady said to him, "Uh-oh, shhh. Be a good boy!" Only then did he seem to feel any remorse, or at least a shade of embarrassment.
I, on the other hand, felt ten shades of appalled.
When we got home, I fed the kids lunch and rushed them to bed for a nap. We all needed a nap. And when we got up a couple of hours later, I had to hurl myself out of bed so that we could do some Skill Building activities before I needed to cook dinner. What I really wanted to do was lay there and enjoy a nice spring evening...in bed, but I felt compelled to end the day on a productive note, so I lured myself up with the thought of checking off "Skill Building" from our schedule.
I'm determined to figure out how to communicate with my son. I'm determined to have a better day tomorrow.
And after having a talk with my daughter before she went to bed, pointing out her behavior today and asking how we can change it tomorrow, I think my kids and I may have a shot ;)
Saturday, April 7, 2012
A Good Week
I'm pleased to report...that week two was a greater success than week one! How do I rate success? If...
...I didn't cry to my husband at the end of the week about how I shouldn't have left my job at the Child Care Center, and how the kids would have been better off with their teachers.
...we got out of the house at least once a day.
...the kids got to be around and play with other kids.
...I learned from my mistakes.
...I maintained my patience even in the crankiest of moods.
...I can still feel the Spirit in my home at the end of the day, and my family goes to bed content.
This week my kids learned the basic anatomy of a flower (petals, stigma, stem, leaves and roots). We took a walk around the neighborhood to look at flowers, and my daughter can now identify the petals, leaves and stigma of a flower, describe the stem (because she can't remember what it's called) and talk about its roots. They also made their own flowers with construction paper and art tissue paper. They're beautiful!
Aislin has practiced matching her uppercase to her lowercase letters using different materials, including alphabet cards in the pocket chart which she uses to play "Memory," alphabet flowers that we "pick" from a cup and then match to lowercase letters (either written on Desmond's whiteboard or matched to the cards that I spread across the room), and worksheets.
Des has been listening to stories, working on a color and shape puzzle, and looking at flashcards with pictures and letters on them. He repeated some of the words, too, like "apple" and "hat"!
The kids attended a library story time where they listened also sang and danced, and then made crafts and played with toys afterwards.
Like I said, it was a good week :)
...I didn't cry to my husband at the end of the week about how I shouldn't have left my job at the Child Care Center, and how the kids would have been better off with their teachers.
...we got out of the house at least once a day.
...the kids got to be around and play with other kids.
...I learned from my mistakes.
...I maintained my patience even in the crankiest of moods.
...I can still feel the Spirit in my home at the end of the day, and my family goes to bed content.
This week my kids learned the basic anatomy of a flower (petals, stigma, stem, leaves and roots). We took a walk around the neighborhood to look at flowers, and my daughter can now identify the petals, leaves and stigma of a flower, describe the stem (because she can't remember what it's called) and talk about its roots. They also made their own flowers with construction paper and art tissue paper. They're beautiful!
Aislin has practiced matching her uppercase to her lowercase letters using different materials, including alphabet cards in the pocket chart which she uses to play "Memory," alphabet flowers that we "pick" from a cup and then match to lowercase letters (either written on Desmond's whiteboard or matched to the cards that I spread across the room), and worksheets.
The kids attended a library story time where they listened also sang and danced, and then made crafts and played with toys afterwards.
He looks so serious, doesn't he? I think he was disappointed that the cards didn't come together like his trains with the magnets at the ends!
They played at a park a couple of times where they had fun feeding ducks!
The kids also had a play date at our house where we shared yummy treats, the girls exchanged dance moves and they came up with their own fun games :)
Finally they made instruments with cups and paper plates, which they didn't quite enjoy as much as I thought they would! I think they would have enjoyed their projects more if they had gotten to paint and glue things, but I was ill-prepared... I should have given them more time to paint their paper plates and for Aislin to cut out shapes and pictures, but since it was late in the day when we got around to this activity and I had to start making dinner soon, I've concluded that any projects other than coloring pages will have to be done earlier in the day!
Still, I wouldn't say the experience was completely lost on my kids :)
How I Know
How do I know that I'm doing a good job?
More times than I can count throughout the day and night, my daughter says to me--out of the blue--"I love you, Mom." She gives me so many unasked-for hugs and kisses, which, for a child who was never a cuddly baby, says so much.
I've heard my son say more new words in the past couple of weeks than I have in the past couple of months. And hearing him say those words was amazing.
My daughter, who still has those moments of crankiness or defiance, has been having far less of them. The child who may have listened to and respected her teachers at the Center has learned to listen to and respect her mother.
And I have learned to let my daughter be herself, to play with her, to willingly give her my time, and love every minute with her.
My children are happy, and I'm happy.
That's how I know... :)
More times than I can count throughout the day and night, my daughter says to me--out of the blue--"I love you, Mom." She gives me so many unasked-for hugs and kisses, which, for a child who was never a cuddly baby, says so much.
I've heard my son say more new words in the past couple of weeks than I have in the past couple of months. And hearing him say those words was amazing.
My daughter, who still has those moments of crankiness or defiance, has been having far less of them. The child who may have listened to and respected her teachers at the Center has learned to listen to and respect her mother.
And I have learned to let my daughter be herself, to play with her, to willingly give her my time, and love every minute with her.
My children are happy, and I'm happy.
That's how I know... :)
Sunday, April 1, 2012
A New Beginning
Once upon a time, I worked at a child care center where my kids were also enrolled. After only six months I knew these things: I could do a better job at teaching my toddler, and not just curriculum but manners; I spent such little time with my children throughout the day that, if I wanted to improve my son's speech or teach him to stop hitting or stomping his foot during a tantrum, I could do no more than ask his teachers to keep an eye on him; and that I could only hope my daughter wouldn't follow the example of the Center's most notorious spoiled princesses and rampaging ruffians. So I left and brought my children home with me.
It's only been a week but I've been working diligently to make each day better, more efficient, more stimulating and challenging for each child, and happy :) We follow a full schedule similar to what they had at the Center, alternating snack times and free play with Group Time, Art, Literature, Skill Building, and Motor Skills activities. We've attended two library story times (1 1/2, really, because Des was ready for a nap and was starting to get sick) and hosted a play date at our house. And in one week, Aislin will begin ballet class!
While my children are learning their letters and numbers, colors and shapes, dates, seasons and weather, and how to write and draw, what I want most for them is to learn how to follow directions, be respectful, and make friends.
Next week is another adventure with new learning experiences for all of us. Stay tuned and I'll post with pictures and details of lessons that succeeded or failed, activities that did or didn't go as planned, events and field trips, and new ideas at the end of next week's wrap up!
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